A Terrible Cup of Coffee

This could happen to YOU! ...

I took a trip last weekend down to visit my friends living in Wimberley in the Texas Hill Country. I was traveling down I-35, passing through Hillsboro, when I decided on a cup of coffee at McDonalds. Mickey D has fairly good java these days, and their price is always better than you-know-who. However, this cup of “joe” was particularly well priced and came with a catch.

I sauntered on up to the counter and placed an order for a small, black cup of coffee to go. The crew member (I still remember her name … Misty) announced that my coffee would cost me $.35. I thought to myself that there must be a mistake, $.35 for a cup of coffee was too cheap. Obviously, Misty had misunderstood what I was ordering.

“I charged you for a SENIOR cup of coffee”, Misty replied. I’ve never liked the name Misty. There’s something kind of “wet behind the ears” with the name Misty. I think I stopped breathing for a few moments, or perhaps my heart stopped. I am certain I had an out of body experience. In any event, when I returned to semi-conscientiousness, I realized I had crossed a threshold and truly entered the realm of a SENIOR. Granted, I am older than 55, but by golly, not by much and I swear I don’t look it.

Attila the Mist ( my new name for Misty) must have seen this blank stare before. She knew the game she was playing. This woman’s next job will be working for the CIA in Gitmo. “I can charge you regular price if you want,” said “Misterator”. I didn’t reply, took my receipt, and retreated to await my cup of coffee and lick my emotional wounds.

More emotional scaring was yet to be delivered. It would give me pause to consider what I had ever done to McDonalds to deserve such abuse. There restaurant was crowded. There were many of us waiting for our orders. I think “The Creature from the Mist” had decided to share her exercise in mental abuse with some of the other “crew” members. When my cup of coffee was ready, it came with an announcement. A loud announcement. Very loud. In fact there was no one in Hillsboro who didn’t hear them announce my cup of coffee. “SENIOR CUP OF COFFEE, SENIOR CUP OF COFFEE” came blaring out from behind the counter. Repeatedly. “Can you yell that a little louder?”, I asked. I felt the entire restaurant staring at me.

I quickly headed out onto the highway. Eventually I took a sip. McDonalds coffee no longer tasted so good to my way of thinking.